Bottom Line I Learned

     I do have no idea what's gotten into me recently, I have completely, and I mean; Totally lost my mood to even look at my blog these past 5months. I don't know why. There's so much to talk about, and even so much to look forward too. Funny experiences, crazy ones, not-so-amazing ones, so much happened at so little time. Met amazing people, 'entertaining' people, and life-changing people. Some grow apart, some grow closer. Lot of things come about school. I spend my last year in high school with all those overwhelming things--either soon my friends and I will be seperated or I still have no idea which university i'd like to go next year.
     My last year in high school.. you know? I found it almost all of the students (especially in my school of course) are on fire. that's fine, but still, I told you all I'm not that kind of person who's gonna spend their whole time 24/7 to study hard and will do whatever the teacher wants me to do in order that she/he will recognize me and will end up like they sum my scores way much upper than before. I mean, I let it all flow. I never begging for scores. I keep in touch with teachers since I know, that soon, I will rarely meet them like i used to everyday. But in the other hand, I connect with people who dream more, than with people who have such narrow minds and just live--what according to them is--reality. Where's the fun in that?
     Some people asked me a few years ago about what I wanted to be and what I wanted to do when I grow up. They were just smile to hear what I had to say and gave me that certain 'look'. They thought it was too pompous and that it would never come true. Bet they still have the same thinking. They asked me why I even had the 'courage to dream' that big.' I answered, "Deep down I know what I can become, and that I have the power to do so. I dont say that I'm capable of doing what I want to do, but God made me capable of what I want to do. I dont believe my past should effect my future, in any possible way. If you already know what you're going to do because the future is set for you, then what part of that is dreaming? If you know that your parents are able to put you to college A, and you say that your dream is to go to college A, I dont believe that is dreaming. Because my definition of dreaming is, you have no idea how you going to end up becoming, and you work your way there, not having the dream made for you. It's you who's suppose to make it happen."
     I had the same dream like my mom used to dream when she way my age. She wanted to be an Ambassador. Um, but college is not that simple, you know? I still have no idea what to choose. I thank God I'm accepted as the new student in Universitas Parahyangan with International Relation study. But I'm still so confused whether it's better to take it or not. Despite I know that International Relation study is a big dream. Well, I have told you that I'm one of that kind of 'let-it-flow' person, aren't I?
     Please be thankful that you're in school, people. Studying. I know it's not as fun as hanging out at the mall and stuffs, but trust me, you'll see that school is usefull--eventually. I will find it very sad and humiliated when I know I've been relying on my parent's money for 16years but in the end i failed to make them proud to have me (God I beg You will not make it happen). What do I do think will happen next? You know. I think. I do think. I do think a lot.

     School.. it might seems endless, but not pointless. we learn from it, get back on our feet, and try to do better.